Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
