So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
