? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
