The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
