I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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