It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
