And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
