so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
