Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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