have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
