Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I understand Curling. That high.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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