I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
