He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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