we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
