Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
