I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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