Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
