why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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