He is such a slut. More and more my type.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
