Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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