I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
