I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
