let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
