smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
