Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
