Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
