im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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