Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Randomize