So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
