my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
