yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
