So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
