just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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