We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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