K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
