my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize