My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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