My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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