Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I think my vagina is haunted
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
