Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
