I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Randomize
