I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize