this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
