Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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