"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
