i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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