i already hear my dad disowning me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
