I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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