I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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