I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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