i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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