I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
