Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
