he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The Olympian is in my bed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
