Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize