no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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