I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
