god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
