So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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