My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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