I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Never joke about your clitoris.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
