dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize