I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
