Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
